Changing Addictions - A Poem By OllyOllie

The air was damp yet clean.

My hands were cold as the ice cream melted into my soft skin.

It was dark, yet bright… the only lights being the streets lights that brought more light then the actual sun

As I entered my garden, I saw my relatives sitting at the table.

“Something happened” was the first thing that came

My parents settled me and went straight to the point.

“We are getting a divorce”

The words ringed in my ears like a metal concert

I knew I was meant to cry, meant to react, meant to say something that’ll fix it like magic, but I didn’t…

Not a tear was shed, not a word was cracked, emotionless

What is wrong with me?

Am I losing sense of empathy like my parents? Why can’t I cry? 

Have all my tears been shed at the endless nights of dread?

Have all my tears been sucked into the plush that I hide in my bed?

I didn’t know how to react, I just said “okay…”

Monotone and unbothered…

Deep down, I was hit by a truck… the vision I had of a long lasting family, gone in the blink of an eye…

I knew my parents did this for their own good, but my life will never be what I wish it would have.

I have to change my habits, change my lifestyle, change my ease of living, change all the things I had hidden so that it’s even more hidden.

All I could do, was put on my headphones, and let the music comfort me… 

Because that’s the only thing that’ll not change, it’s an addiction