Change

Mez's blog entry #10 ~ 486 words

So much has happened recently it's kinda unbelievable. It's just been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions and uncertainty that I'm still struggling to get around emotionally. 

I've had to come to terms with myself and my actions for I haven't been a good person for a while, and I deeply regret a lot of things I've done in the past 6 months. I've been hit with the consequences of my actions and once again was taught so many valuable lessons about life that I will never forget. Sometimes I am stubborn to life's lessons so that I can only really learn them through pain, tears and brutality, and this is one of those painful lessons. I can only strive to be a better person moving forward.  

I'm also coming to the end of my secondary school, as I'm taking my final GCSE exams very soon and will be moving house very sooner. After that, I'll be going to college. There's gonna be so many life changes that in a way I felt like I've needed for a while. It'll be an opportunity for me to start anew and try be a better version of myself and be closer to who I want to be, without the restrictions of previous versions of myself.

With these new sets of changes, I feel inspired to change creatively too. I'm looking to start a media/filmmaking course in college, making me an official film student. I'm actually really excited for this as I really have a passion and love for film and making stories that I don't have for other subjects in the same way. I have always been an academically-minded kid with a natural curiosity for science and the way the world works, but after experiencing some extreme gifted kid burnout I've realized that I want to focus my attention where I truly want to go. In terms of my art, I'm probably gonna start drifting away from my HTTYD ocs. They were valuable to me in the time where I needed them for comfort and stability when I so desperately needed it all those years ago, and now I feel like I can let go of them as they've served their purpose. I want to try making my own species, and developing my art in so many ways. There's so much I've get to explore, and it's time to start diving deeper into what I can do. 

So yeah, at the end of the day, there's a lot changing. It always has been changing but this is a much more noticeable kind of change. But I'm glad to say I don't feel as uprooted as I used to feel during change as I know who I am and the path that I'm on. That doesn't mean I won't miss the times before, but I'll try embrace as best I can what is going to happen.

Love yous, Mez <3