Update On My Crush

Let's get right into it. 

On Tuesday, April 8th, I went with my friends to a bar. We were a total of 8 people, one of them being my former crush (whom I was still crushing on at the time). We had a drink and then got into different teams to play foosball and pool. That night, I seriously got the ick. Remember how I said in my previous post that this guy had a girlfriend? Turns out I was wrong and he didn't have one, well, either that or he broke up with her very recently. I thought he had a girlfriend because one of my friends told me so, but then at the pub I heard him talk about how he is exchanging snapchats with girls and I said to my other friend "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" and she laughed and said "No." and that was shocking. You'd think I'd be happy about it, but by then, I had already been turned off by his behaviour throughout the night. I mean, he didn't do anything wrong per se, but he was just acting immature, and I like guys who are gentlemanly. Anyway, indeed, this doesn't take away from the fact that he is a nice guy and has always been kind to me, so it's not like I dislike him or anything like that. He's actually sweet, even though he was being kinda rude when we played pool (not towards me but towards the others, probably because he felt more comfortable with them). I guess he just has a very competitive spirit. You could say that I don't like him in that way anymore, but for some reason, I'm still crushing on him, and I'd like for it to stop.

While my interest in this guy started to fade that night, my interest in another guy grew. I had never paid much attention to this other guy, and I'm not proud to say that I did it on purpose. But I didn't ignore him because I disliked him. The thing is that I'm socially awkward, and I simply did not know how to talk to him. I really wish I could be as friendly as I want with anyone I meet, but that only happens with people who make me feel welcomed from the first moment we talk. Thankfully, though, since we were in a different setting and I was teammates with him during our pool match, we talked and I don't feel awkward around him anymore, and hopefully he doesn't feel awkward around me either, because that would make me feel bad. 

Well, that sure was a turn of events. Earlier that day, I was excited to hang out with my crush (now former), but was left disappointed having realized that I had idealized him. Funny enough, I somehow ended up developing an interest in another guy. However! On our way back to the dorm, as I was thinking that I might as well start liking this guy instead, he revealed that he smokes. My mind took a pause, and I said to myself, "Seriously?" because smoking is a big turn-off for me. So I guess I'm crush-free once again! (sort of)