Everything - A Poem By OllyOllie

My chest feels heavier, despite no weight has been added

But what is the weight? Is it fiction? Or is something building inside me?

Is it the tears I try so hard to release with no result? Is it the body trying to ease my mind by creating a fake body that I only see in an other world and I can feel but cannot touch or see? Is it the food I gave myself finding a spare room due to there being no space left?

I can’t think anymore, my head bangs like the drums of the songs I blast in my ears to cope. I feel my eyes tilting slowly as sleep slowly grabs me.

Everything around me is touching me despite being far, I can feel the wood in my breath, I can smell rubber from my fingers, how is that possible?

I feel the sleep grasping my mouth, it’s damp. 

My eyes are losing sense of vision, all I can see is shapes and colours. I feel like i am high, despite never approaching such substances.

Sleep enters my mind, the thought of it removes weight while also adding weight. 

The weight in my chest is gone.

But weight was added in my head.

I feel my head sinking into my pillow, my eyes tilting more and more to the roof.

The thought of sleep makes me jolt awake, the thought of being awake makes me sleepy.

“Don’t think”, it whispers in my ear. “Just close your eyes”

The thought of closing my eyes makes them stay up

The thought of sleeping makes me forget the weight I have on my chest.

I think about what I did today, what did I do? 

7… I ate food

6… before I could digest, I ate more

5… one hour later, I ate again

4… before I could think, I feel everything

3… “relax”, it told me

2… I am confused by everything

1… before a conclusion comes to me, everything holds me

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