02/04/24

My eyes shine, a shine caused by silent tears. My body freezes at the thought of what the absence of a pulse in my battered heart would have felt like. It's the only sensation I'd ever wish to experience in all the times I've been under that blind gaze, a gaze that longed to embrace me with its sadistic pain.

I can't help it; I don't enjoy it or suffer it. I simply live with the thought that everything will be different, knowing that I'll never change, or even think about it. It's not a lack of hope or low self-esteem; I've simply grown accustomed to living under the same misery, the right hand of the reincarnation of little faith.