guh.

if i really was so desperate to have someone to talk to then i wouldnt be so picky about who it is im talking with.

i am ghosting 2 people at once right now. i can't bare the thought of even looking at the chat box.

(●'◡'●) at first i was so desperate for some attention, but if i don't even want to talk to the people who are already waiting for a reply from me, then do i really want attention??? do i want something else??? what else could i possibly want??? 

what do i need???????????? what am i craving if not attention??????????? if it's not human interaction???????? what do i yearn for??????????????? hepl?????????????????

i don't get along with people who arent similar to me. it doesnt matter if we have the same interests, we also need to be similar personality wise or mannerism wise. it's just so i can better understand you, or what you may be thinking or feeling. with my past friends, we kind of molded together to fit each other. but when finding new friends, it feels hard to do that for some reason. i can't change my personality to match theirs anymore, like i no longer have the energy. i dont know why i feel the need to mirror the energy and personality of the person on the other side of the screen in the first place, i guess it's the fear of being called "dry" or "boring." nobody online likes a dry person, but not being dry is so draining too. i just want someone who'll like me whether i'm energetic or not. maybe what i really want is unconditional love?

"what do you need? who do you need?"