Oof

Oof. Just oof. Life has been a living hell lately. Between exposure therapy for trauma therapy, chronic illness flares, and constant panic attacks because of exposure therapy, I'm running myself into the ground. Most days I feel like I'm fighting to keep my eyes open, or I'm severely ill from my disabilities. It feels like there is no end to any of this in sight. Even reading back through my therapy journal shows that I'm struggling so badly but am still trying. I can barely use my manual wheelchair I'm so exhausted, but my doctor won't get me a powerchair because she doesn't want me in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.

Well, because of the exertion causing exhaustion, I'm now barely doing anything but sitting at home. At least with a powerchair, I'd be able to recover and have a life. Right now, I have no life because there is no time or opportunity to recover.