Quest for the Relics: Allegra I

Okay, well, until I get enough willpower to blunder through and finish the damn thing, I'll be posting chapters from my unfinished fantasy epic called "Quest for the Relics" - but hey, the really fun part came from doing all the world-building, so I'm not entirely suprised that the story portion didn't pan out~ 


Allegra

Today was a big day. Perhaps one of the most important in Allegra’s life. She stood outside the throne room, trying to keep her breathing in check. She twisted the silver bracelet on her arm, which was studded with rubies. Rubies were the symbol of her house, House Gamron. Her handmaiden Dalia was with her. Dalia was her closest friend in the world, almost like the sister she never had. 

“Relax, my lady,” she said. “You deserve this moment.”

Allegra tried to focus on her breathing, her splendid purple gown fluttering this way and that as she willed herself to calm down. The people must see their princess as cool and collected, even in the face of immense pressure. 

“Dalia, why am I still so nervous?”

Dalia didn’t want to answer, her mouth tightening. The reason they were all there reminded Dalia of one of the scariest experiences of her life, but she didn’t want to rain on her lady’s parade. “Everything will be alright, just wait for your cue,” she whispered back, giving her mistress’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. A gong chimed from within the throne room, which was the signal for Allegra to enter. 

A page opened the door for her and stepped aside as she swept past her, poised and regal as if she hadn’t nearly panicked before her summons called her into the room.

“Presenting...Her Highness the Princess Allegra!” the page bawled to all assembled. Allegra and turned back before the doors were closed. Dalia blew her a kiss before she vanished from sight.

Feeling heartened by her handmaiden’s steadfast affection, Allegra strode forward, trying her best to avoid fainting on the spot. Her father, King Cygnus, sat on the top of the dais, seated on the Rubicon Throne. The old king was visibly weary, but his lined face broke out into a radiant smile at the sight of his daughter coming down the aisle towards the throne.

Allegra’s own tentative smile widened as she approached the throne. She curtseyed at the foot of the dais and knelt in the same motion. Her father started to his feet, but was aided by Allegra’s foster brother Matthias, who stood next to their father with a plain crown on a plush red cushion.

King Cygnus was paralyzed from the waist down, but he wouldn’t allow his condition to get in the way of honoring his only daughter with what was hers, wheelchair be damned. 

“On this day, Princess Allegra, wo da nu’er, the day of your crowning, you come before me. You come before all of our people.” The king thundered - his voice was still strong, even if he was not as hale as he once was. 

“Yes, BaBa,” Allegra murmured, so quietly that only people in the first row could hear her.

“Do you swear to uphold all the laws of Anghvir, and continue to make our kingdom a fair and just place for all its citizens?”

“I do swear.”

“Do you swear to govern with strength, honor, and compassion?”

“I do swear.”

“Do you swear to defend our realm against foes external and internal alike?” 

“I do swear.”

“Then arise, Crown Princess Allegra!” King Cygnus finished the ceremony. Allegra stood and greeted her father with an embrace and a kiss before she turned to her foster brother and gave him the same.

“Now then,” Cygnus continued, once the raucous applause had subsided. “Some of you are doubtlessly wondering why it is my daughter standing before you as heir to the throne, and not my son. As you well know, Prince Commodus was banished for a heinous crime we dare not speak of and besmirch the honor of this hall for. In any case, when he chose exile over death he forfeited his claim to the throne. As my second eldest, Allegra earned this opportunity, which she has proven herself equal to, without a shadow of doubt in my mind.”

A disquieting hush fell over the crowd. A newcomer had joined the throng - a tall, handsome fellow with rogueish black hair and an eyepatch over one eye, both obscured by his hat. He had a metallic prosthetic hand at the end of one of his arms, and he walked with a slight limp, as if he had taken an arrow wound to the knee that had never quite healed.

“Sire, I seek an audience with you, if you would.”



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Dark Entries

Dark Entries 's profile picture

You really have something here. If you said in your preface that you struggled with creating a story, the good news is that you already have some strong characters. Since plot/story is really just how things happen to your characters, you could probably create one pretty easily at this point. Good work!


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Thanks! Ultimately the story kinda fizzled out around 70-something pages. I just couldn't figure out how to make good and sensible transitions without it seeming rushed or inorganic.

by Lordking Byron; ; Report

Outline the story and plot first!

by Dark Entries; ; Report

Oh, I did, believe me, I did. I think I got hung up on "hey wait this doesn't really feel like a quest" the way the hunt for the Deathly Hallows went, the quest for the Grail, etc. Maybe this year I can pick it back up!

by Lordking Byron; ; Report

Definitely pick it back up. First drafts are usually pretty bare bones anyway. Second drafts are where you can really start to build and develop.

by Dark Entries; ; Report

I can't remember who said it, but a famous author once had this gem: "The first draft is mainly you telling yourself the story." Now I gotta look that up!

by Lordking Byron; ; Report

Terry Prachett!

by Dark Entries; ; Report

I had a feeling it was him! Had to Google to make sure, though.

by Lordking Byron; ; Report