Superpower

"If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be?"

It's a question all of us have been asked at some stage in our lives. I still remember the first time I heard it- on the playground twelve-something years ago.

Of course I answered with something exciting like 'flying'. 'teleportation', or 'mind-reading'. Who wouldn't want those powers? 

If I could teleport, I'd visit every place in the world I ever dreamt of visiting. Disneyland? Check. Paris? You name it.

If I could fly, I'd soar high in the sky and look at the beautiful world from above. What were the birds seeing that I wasn't?

If I could read minds, I'd figure out what people thought of me. "What do I need to do to make them love me?"

But life wasn't as colourful as I had imagined. 

As the years went by and the rose-tinted glasses came off- I found that my little self would never have wished for what she did knowing the turn that my life would take.

Because at some point, I realised something. Lost parts of myself I had held onto for so long. Forgot what kept the light in my eyes from blowing away. 

I no longer had any place in the world I dream of visiting. 

I no longer found the world beautiful enough to view from up above.

...And I no longer cared what other people thought of me. 

Because I became a mind-reader, of sorts. Knowing exactly what people think of you isn't the best kind of superpower to have. Not when you realise every person in your life never thought of you lovingly in the first place. Realising nothing you can ever do will make them happy- except disappear.

To realise that love is conditional is painful. 

And to realise that you'll never be loved is even more so. 

"If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be?

To erase an existence.