Life

After all journaling helps and so I will write to console my uneasy state. I’m 18 a senior and there is so much I feel the more I ponder about it all. My classes, grades, social life, appearance and well they’re all intertwined. I get too stressed so easily at small inconveniences and I feel so trapped and overwhelmed. My daily life consists of coping and escapism. The feeling lingers and I am no longer able to enjoy life. Suicide always comes to mind and it used to be so freeing to have as a plan but suicide takes patience and detail. I can not afford to fail for the consequences I would deal with after are greater than death. I know of it so great, it would make my living life harder. Anyways, my state always fluctuates but it’s so detrimental to my life and consistency to being stable. I sometimes read over depressing things when I’m in a pleasant mood and wonder how different it is as if I was never that depressed person and find it such a foreign concept.