Now im Alone

So i have moved back home and have to find new ways to survive again. I forgot how lonely it is here even tho i have a sister, we dont really speak much unless to ask one another something. I feel sad i cant seem to ever connect with her.

I live now back in the country, its miles of nothing but forest and fields and 20-30 mins to any kind of store or gas station. The air here is so much more clean to breath and it feels good, however im so sad here. Im so alone here. I dont know when i wont be alone or when ill ever be happy with anything that happens in my life. I seem to never find peace or content. 

No matter what i try to do i cant please myself. What can be so wrong with me that im unable to ever feel content? What makes people like me who are never happy? 

I have not been alone in a room in 6 months. Since i was living with someone against my will and in a very abusive relationship.. so being alone right now is almost uncanny. I dont even remember myself or who i would be alone. Ive been sitting in my room now just confused on how i got here now. 

I will be honest here, i dont think there is peace for people like me.