MY ATTEMPT AT WRITING A SONG (WANT FEEDBACK PLZ)

Soooo

I said I'd write a song. And I actually did. Well, a chorus. I was bored in my CSPE class, we were watching a documentary about Zac Efron doing rando stuff in Australia during covid. Anyhoo here is my chorus. 

Stabbed in the back, you forgot I could bleed

Little did I know it was just what I need

New friends, new life, sucks you don't look my outcome in the face

Case closed on your story, striked that book with a mace

(That's the foundation of the chorus ig. I have a alternative ver that is extended, probably for the 2nd and possibly 3rd chorus. Here's the alt ver, it extends on the 1st chorus)

Stabbed in the back, you forgot I could feel

Patched up your absence with a red wax seal

And it took 8 whole weeks for my act got boring

If you have to break my heart give me a five day warning

At least I kept up my side of the bargain

Your kris knives won't ever leave me on a whim again.

I'd like you to know that this is my first attempt at a song, I'm part of a band with my friends called Sliverfish. I play bass and for our first ep we each want to write a song about a person in our lives. This song is about my ex best friend. 

I'd really love to get some feedback on this. Like I said I've never written a song before so obviously I'm a bit shit but it's worth a shot