obsession, specifically with patd

i think i finally understand band obsession 

im watching the patd denver show in full. im getting goddamn shivers and im genuinely mourning the fact i was a stupid 2 month old at the time. oh my god. seriously asking, does this make me a loser? i never understood, like, parasocial relationships. i just couldnt do it. granted, i spent all my time gaming. so i never watched MVs for any of the music i listened to. it was background music sometimes. 

ive been obsessed with certain songs before, more specifically how it would relate to me or 

a character i had. thats how i would listen to music. but ive never, like, constantly thought of that one big show any band had. not until recently. except every wallows show i couldnt go to fuck everyone that went before me. fuck all of you who saw the nothing happens tour. but yeah i genuinely shake at the thought of owning the afycso cd. i stare at my afycso pinterest board at least 3 times a day. im making a pretty odd pinterest board. its what i think about most of the time. i want the live in denver cd. id bleed to have it. i mean ive bled for less but the point is i wouldnt just pass up 5 measly dollars. its genuinely so IN MY MIND. its hurting me 

oh my god it hurts so bad

i need to go to wwwy 

i mean i know im going but i need to be there. holy shit i NEED to be there NOW. 

i havent danced this much year im losing it. im so scared of what ill become if i look at any of my other favorite bands concert videos.