Chasing after a school life I don't want to be in D:

K!

Ugh, I can't believe I'm doing this! This will be my first ever Blog

I feel I've dwindled into the past and am staying with friends who don't like me, so find this as your complimentary view into my hella normal life! With the most mundane issues, so I call this "The mixalot's memoir"

2025/06/09

Ugh, so it's been about 2 months since I updated this since I got back to school and yeah.., Anyways, I obviously do not know everything that has happened in the past two months, but I know it's been the biggest sack of shit for this whole year so let's get this updated:

My friend group still sucks. Oh, yeah, I never got to say this was about my friend group, but yeah.

My Only other friend is practically making me beg her to be decent and give me the time of day.

(I think you take it I am not very liked.)

OH YEAH.. THAT... So I am bi, and my parents, well my dad... watched me play Tlou2 (it was the farm part where you see JJ) so he said "Is that Ellie's baby?" and I said, "Well no, it's Dina and Jesse's and Dina and Ellie are raising it." and he said something along the lines, "Is Ellie gay?/Are they gay?" And me and my big mouth said "Yeah, Ellie's gay but Dina's bi." and this mother fucker says "You can't play this game, jk. Just don't get influenced." and I just went "OH! Well that's just nice for me going out."(In my head but I said this irl)  and I said "Yeah of course not" I was already bi secretly for 3 years so i was just like.. erm guys.. erm? Crazy how I can't even speak about HoMOSeXuaLity /woke stuff according to them, but at school I'm like WOMEN AND MEN WOOHIE I LOVE WOMEN AND MEN but at home I'm straight I love men and women are only to be friends with me. 

Anyway, I think that's all I'll write for now

2025/06/11

Ugh, so it's been two days, NOT that LONG but it feels like shit hit the fan and the fan broke so the shit landed on me. Today, I'll focus on my previously only friend outside of my friend group, I'll call her C. So, C and I have been on a slow, painful decline since we became friends. The symptoms didn't show at all at the beginning, but things change, people grow out. And it feels as if she absolutely hates me, but I have severe social anxiety, so maybe it's not her really doing that, and it's just my social anxiety. Anyway, it seems as if she's been ignoring me ever since I'll call him S her crush has been giving her attention and she's become what I dread to say a pick me, she does everything for male attenton and she's left all her friends that helped her when he hated her but now it's all "Heyyy C" and she's like "Heyyyyy S~" and she's just incredibley different now. I feel as if I have to beg and say the most out of pocket shit to get her attention as I've been with her since thick and thin. Now, by the way, most of this is happening in a taxi, a small one, and I sometimes need her to move up, so I ask, "Can you guys move up?" I'll call them T, G, and L G and T move up C the one sitting after them doesn't move an inch. L gets in and is basically squashed up there is 4 cm left for me, and I'm not saying I'm fat, I'm just not bone thin, I am basically almost falling out of the taxi, and I ask "Can you guys move up?" they move up again, all of them beside C atleast. I am genuinley losing my last nerve now, so I just have to sit one leg over another while basically sitting on L's lap but Cassidy isn't tight at all she can loo backward while I can't even fucking open my god damn school bag.