Ranting About My Love Life (it sucks)

I told myself I wouldn't talk about my love life this soon. I mean, I just started blogging yesterday, and I'm also shy about it. But it's past 9pm, and I coincidentally met my crush outside my student dorm. I was surprised to see him getting off a motorcycle. I asked him about it, and he said he rented it. We rode the elevator (he let me in first) together to the 3rd floor (yes, our rooms are on the same floor ><) and he told me he is tired since he just came back from playing soccer with his friends, and that he now had to go to the common kitchen and cook chicken for himself (he cooks his dinner). I'm pretty sure I listened to him with a calm expression, but I was tweaking inside! My hands are shaking right now just from writing this lol. He's just so cute, kind, and polite ^^

But unfortunately, he has a girlfriend T-T. I swear, if he were single, I would not hesitate to make a move on him! If only... AHHHHH!! The worst thing is that this isn't the first time this has happened to me, not even the second. This is the THIRD time that I find out the guy I have a crush on is already taken T-T

To his girlfriend: I'm terribly sorry I have a crush on your boyfriend, but I just can't help it; it's not like I can control my feelings. Do not worry though, because I know how to control myself, and that's what I'm doing! I'm just ranting about it on here because I have no one else to tell this to, since it's embarrassing to admit I like a guy who is taken.

[Whether I fall in love with you or not, whether you're a boy or a girl, or even an elementary school kid or a grandpa, I bet I'd still find myself thinking "I really like this person". That's why I want to be friends.]

This quote is from the manga Skip and Loafer, and it is exactly how I feel about him. Only that I can't be friends with him because I know he's the type of guy who I can't see as only a friend. I'd love to be good friends with him, though. He's a great guy, plus we both like wave to earth. I'm getting sad now...

I've only actually liked 2 guys, but I've had a crush on about 5, and it's crazy to me that 3 of them turned out to have girlfriends. I'm happy for them because they seem happy in their relationship. Still, I have this bittersweet feeling. Honestly, I think I just have good taste in guys, and so of course they're taken! What worries me is that I'm 20, and at my age it's harder to find someone who you like AND is single T-T

Please, universe, let the next guy I crush on not have a girlfriend. If it happens, I promise I will not let you down! I'll put my all into getting in a relationship with them.