Walks

I really like going on walks. Its probably the only healthy coping mechanism I have. Night walks are amazing when you feel like you want to run away from yourself. The world is heavy on your shoulders but your own thoughts are heavier and so you run. You walk fast, not because you are scared, but because it gives you a sense of relief. Walking nonstop until u barely can anymore, until all your thoughts die. Until you feel like you can make it one more night. The city around you is quiet, or loud, it doesn't matter. You have headphones on and loud music. 

At some point you feel like you can finally breathe with ease again. Then you stop walking, take the hood off and look at the sky. You stop the music and allow the night to invade all your senses. You are finally at peace. Its better if you are all alone in the street, its better if there aren't any cars. Its amazing if all the company you have is stray cats. 

I like rainy nights, when the rain is heavy enough to dampen my clothes. When its not heavy enough to drench me completely and make me die of cold. Even though I wouldn't mind. I just don't want the pack of cigs in my pocket to get wet. 

I like finding a nice spot and smoking a cig. The other night a cat adopted me and fell asleep on my knees so I spent an hour sitting there. 

And then you go home, you open the door to your room, you make it to the bed and you fall asleep. Because the night has ended.