10/09/2024

Today I didn't really do anything. All I did was going out with my friends at the mall and then head back to my friend's house by walking from there because we didn't have the money to ride the bus to their house.

All of us went back doom scrolling together and we barely talked. I'm okay with that but it sometimes makes me feel incompetent. I get anxious and feel bad when I'm asked what we should do, I really don't like the question. Everything costs money to have fun, I don't like it. All we could do is draw or have a picnic but that's about it. Watching TV still counts as consuming media so I don't know.

My emotions were all over the place when we were walking, I felt like I was deattached from the present thinking about my past actions and worrying about people being against me and disliked. I was feeling so petty, it's not worth it but it's hard to overcome that mindset. I hate feeling unfair.