When I Was a Kid

4 of April, 2025

When I was a kid,

            I had trouble with subtraction. Don't leave yet. It was around 3rd or 2nd grade, and I failed two tests. The thing is, I still don't know how I failed. I don't know if I counted wrong, if I begun in the wrong number, or if I ended in the wrong number.

           Take 8-7 for example. Was I starting in the 6 or ending in the second? But, if I remember it was a bit more complicated than that, but I'm not sure. 

            The inquiry is more of, if I knew what was wrong, why didn't I tell anyone? Did I tell someone? Why didn't anyone notice? And if they did? Why didn't they say anything? Why didn't they explain it to me?

            Sometimes, I feel like everyone gave up on me. I'm the youngest, and I've seen younger people post about the same experience. My mother was lovely to me, but I feel that, after my sister, I just became like a disposable toy. She planned me with my father, too. 

            I remember a nearby neighbor helping me out, and so with my sister, but I don't remember my mother. Even in 3rd grade December finals I remember that my sister was the one to help me memorize the multiplication table last minute. But never my mom.

            Then, my sister gave up on me. She's 9 years older than me, so, she didn't like playing with me, nor spending time with me. Maybe she did, but not all the time. She was only there to make fun or bother me. She's still a good sister and I know she loves me to death, but one day, just like my mom, she gave up. 

             My mother paid her to help me with my assignments on 7th grade, one day, she just stopped overall. I was a little shit, I'm not that innocent, but... I'm her sister. 

             Not to mention, that, I think in 4th or 5th grade, I wanted to do this assignment with my mother. I've ivisioned us spending time together, bonding over this science assignment, only for my sister to be forced to do it. My sister didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be there with her either. I wanted my mom, but still, even if I hadn't, I remember feeling glad that I had her. 

            I wonder if I had become a weight to everyone around me. Emotionally. 

Thank you for staying till the end,

-TheWolfHybrid