Life Update -- introductions again

It's 00:36 and I need to sleep urgently since I have a shift tomorrow. I'm just being silly because my shift starts at 12:30 and I apparently never learn my lesson about being tired. I don't know how I did it in high school, sleeping for like 4 hours max sometimes... tbh I don't think I "did" anything in hs though, being that I almost failed the whole thing and didnt have any friends by the end of it LMAO,,,

 I'm typing to the void again, although I should really be doing this on my neocities blog that I'm neglecting. That's okay.

This era of the internet is a weird torture chamber. I wonder if past generations felt a similar need to be heard and validated the same way we do now.

anyways, hello! I'm 7yc1a, BATHORy, attw6l, etc. I'm 20 this year and feeling hopelessly like I'm missing out on my chance to be young and cool. My self esteem has been at an all time low for about a year now and I would do anything to look like those millenial goth pinterest aesthetic pictures dominated by the likes of murderotic, but unfortunately I don't think I'll ever reach that level of cool. Whenever I start to feel like I'll never get to experience something, either because i'm too old now or because it doesn't exist anymore, or won't exist in my lifetime, I just tell myself I'll experience it in another life and it'll be everything I ever wanted. It's a soothing thought.

Recently I've started baking for a book club I'm in despite not ever really reading the books. I think they let me in because my boyfriend DOES read the books so I'm getting a free pass lmao.

It's 00:50 now. To be honest, things have been hard, and even if no one looks at this post it's comforting to know it's been solidified into the computers and code of the internet.

The good news: my credit score is 750, I'm getting paid tomorrow, and I'm working on my first album cover commission! It's starting to stress me out but I need to remember that I can afford to be patient. Everything is going to be okay in the end.