State of mind

Feeling sort of strange right now, sort of inbetween mental states. Kind of a rarity when you're bipolar, I mean hell it's in the name. Like two weeks ago someone I considered a very close friend I feel wronged me quite badly and then cut contact with me after I snapped at her for it. Regardless of how it played out I've been thinking about how much I miss her. Like yeah, I'm pissed at what she did, but I really do miss her like a motherfucker.

Anyways what I wanted to get at is that no matter how much this all hurts, it's one thing. I feel bad about something specific. My depressive episodes are marked by just absolute mind numbing despair, and the hypomanic ones by ecstatic joy. Right now there's more nuance than there usually is, and so despite the shitty recent events, I think I'm quite happy.

Completely off-topic, but the band 'Black Country, New Road' just released an album and it's a fucking banger, highly recommend you check it out.

Have a good one; and happy hunting, reader.