my birthday is getting really close

yknow that like feeling when you're getting older and yeah you're excited but at the same time you're dreading it? Kinda how i'm felling rn, my 17th birthday is next week I've been counting the days until it arrives I've been excited a dreaded for it. After quarantine happened I feel like I've kinda been stuck feeling like I'm 11 still or at least still the awkward kid I was in middleschool. I've been waiting to become one of the older kids I always looked up to, I couldn't wait to be more independent and grown and yeah the independence I have now is great I have my drivers license and I'm graduating a year early this year but at the same time I don't feel that ready. Like I want to go back to when I was in elementary school and life was really simple for me and I didn't have to worry about all these responsibilities I have now that stress me out a lot. Once I get to wednesday it'll be officially one more year until I'm legally considered an adult that's so crazy to me because I don't feel that close to one yet. I feel like i've been spending my highschool years so focused on my dance team and school to the point where I don't feel like a teenager. I haven't really spent any of my time doing fun 16 year old things minus going to the mall occasionally but thats it. after I graduate I'll be off my dance team and I'll have the whole summer getting to be a lot more free and get to choose how I would like to spend it. This summer I plan on getting to fill in all the teenage experiences I feel like I missed and I hope that it helps me feel a bit more like my age :]