how to feel about brand new

I put off getting into Brand New for years because at the time I was considering it the gross stuff about Jesse Lacey was coming out. For some reason late 2024 I decided time enough had passed for me to process it, and they're becoming a favorite of mine, but with the reunion now I'm having complicated feelings. I posted something on the band's last.fm shoutbox that I still do stand by: 

"Maybe Jesse's apology post wasn't up to many peoples' standards but I feel like it's really clear through many of the songs that he did feel bad about what he did/was doing. Lotta people will say you shouldn't provide support at all but imo he's someone who was open about his issues, maybe to a degree that maybe isn't as transparent as people would like but I don't see him as pure evil and rather as someone who was/is deeply troubled, and hurt people, and made art out of that." 

With them touring again, though, the support you provide does extend to a different level. And ultimately there's a question of how much grace Lacey deserves. I mean, if he projected any of his own guilt onto the Meadowbrook Parkway drunk driver in "Limousine", he'd deserve none—again, his lyrics are unabashedly dealing with guilt. And I'm personally of the opinion that, at least in many situations, people deserve second chances. I understand why people, especially women and victims of any form of sexual abuse doubly so, would feel that Lacey and BN in general should be blackballed forever, but what I go back to is, if someone built a decent portion of their career around art about being a bad person and the associated guilt, and they eventually issue an admittedly vague acknowledgment that they've hurt people and that they have been working on themselves, do they deserve a second chance these years later? Obviously the power dynamics are different because he's famous, but something I come back to is, if someone you knew personally were in a similar situation, how would you feel?

idk, I just need to process this stuff. perhaps "my tongue's the only muscle in my body that works harder than my heart"