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I'm not trying to spark a debate, just a discussion (or at least letting out my thoughts)
As a queer Christian, I find it extremely difficult to balance my religious identity and gender identity / sexuality.
Its like, I believe in both; I grew up with Christianity and its influence on my life is only increasing. I go to church every Sunday for about 5 hours (mostly because my parents make me, but nonetheless). I've gotten baptized twice. I genuinely pray to God at random points of the day to ask Him for guidance or to thank Him for literally everything. But, I still have trouble identifying myself as Christian because of some more aspects having to do with relationships and gender identity/roles.
I've identified as transgender nonbinary, or genderqueer, for over 3 years now, and have identified for queer in general for longer. I don't see this changing in the forseeable future. It influences so many aspects of my life; how I view myself, how I present myself, and how I view others. I don't want to say my life revolves around it or it's my whole personality, because it's not, but it still has a strong impact on my person and who I am as a whole.
I've tried to lessen both my religious and queer identity for each other, but it feels impossible. They both feel important and true to me. The fact that I feel that I have to chose has me at this constant internal and social conflict.
Do I really have to choose?
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Marquis
You don't have to choose.
I know what it's like to struggle like that. I remember feeling exactly like you do. I had some negative experiences coming out and I heard the hateful things 'christians' around me said about people like me. I felt isolated from my church.
I still struggle with my faith, but it's a journey your taking with God, not your pastor or some evangelical soapbox yapper. Read the Bible, pray, and look for churches that support the poor, homeless, and at risk youth. Find one that actually improves its community because that is what it is called to do not because it wants its name out there.
So much of faith is used to justify hateful rhetoric these days, but compassion is at the core of Christianity. Love like Jesus and all that.
I don't know what you'll decide, but I hope you find God. At the very least, I hope you find the peace your looking for. No matter what you find or choose, I hope you'll still choose kindness. Our world would be a lot better if compassion was the default.
Anyways sorry if that was preachy lol. I just remember that confusion myself and sometimes I still feel it. Hope this helped. And just know that you are doing good and I wish you a wonderful day/night
Oh yeah and I think God accepts us. I had a hell of a time coming to that conclusion but I've gotten to a point where I know when the Holy Spirit is guiding me to do something or help someone I might not realize needs it. I've definitely felt convicted. But never about my sexuality/identity. I just needed to separate my upbringing with what is actually written/there
by Marquis; ; Report
Emerald
I used to be Christian for a long time and I understand this struggle but one thing I think would be a good reminder is that God dose accsept you for who you are, you don't need to choose and whatever is making you choose is faulse, it's not a sin to discover who you are and God will always be with you on your path!