Goodbye Smellphie

Dear Belphie,

I really hate writing letters but Estella insists we do it so we ‘have a proper chance to say goodbye’ so here it goes, I guess. Um, I think you’re cool. That’s really it. I think you’re funny and chill and you’re not too hard on the eyes for the most part. I mean you’ve got the face of a dog but I like dogs, so that’s not a bad thing. I had a great time this year hanging out with you, ironically of course. Just sitting around in the attic smoking cigarettes and listening to records, it was pretty cool and I hope we can do it again sometime. Maybe you can come up to the human world and we can just…do that. Just hang out again.

Like I said, I’m not great at letter writing.

I think you’re cool, dude. That’s it.

Maybe we could’ve been boyfriend/girlfriend but that’s dumb, right?

I mean, that kinda thing is only for loveless losers like Asmo and Desirae.

If we did get together, it’d be for the irony.

Irony now and forever, Bel.

-Layla Mourning