Music and it Keeping Me from an All Consuming Dread

I wish I had a talent for playing music but alas I have terrible rhythm. 

I've created so many playlists in the last year, organized them into different feels I guess, and it has saved me from weeks of depression and dread about my future and past relationships with friends and family. It staved off a flood of, what I can best describe as, multiples of my conscious thoughts all at once about what my exes are doing, how much better they're doing, friends I don't talk to anymore being more successful than me, or people around me just being happier without me in their lives. So. Much. Self-Loathing. Nothing of any useful insight or constructive. Just constant sludge that only held me down night after night. EXHAUSTING!!!  Horribly annoying. 

This all ramped up in the last year, and anyone who can relate, knows that you don't even feel deserving of help. SO my genius brain cooked up like 13 hours worth of playlists for myself of different music so I could pick myself up out of this pit. It isn't some big new scientific discovery that listening to happy music when you're sad will at least 80 percent of the time get you out of it. I'm just writing this as an appreciation of this phenomena, quite a useful tool. Aside from the uplifting it does for me, it's also. Pretty fun to explore new music and enjoy upcoming artists. Discussing the art they make is actually just fulfilling and feels like I'm part of something. Charli XCX isn't just some new artist, but I was new to her stuff like a lot of people were in 2024, and I am soooo glad I gave it a chance cause it's annoying for me to listen to music I haven't already heard I don't know what's wrong with me that it feels like damage being done to my psyche whenever my playlists are interrupted with something different ( I just said I liked it I know I contradict myself all the time I'm sorry ). Maybe it is because I am not accustomed to change, it can' be routines because those are difficult for me to even build to begin with.