31 march 2025 11:20 pm ( French Time )

Today was so hard.... Anxiety and panic attacks on school in the morning, I wasn't able to go to school on the afternoon. I cried a lot today. Because one of the girl in my class was my friend. I'm not friend anymore with her because last week, I wasn't at school on Monday afternoon and Tuesday. She told to people that I was in Hospital or Psychiatric Hospital, which was not the truth. When they told me that she said that, I wasn't feeling good. I has been in hospital 1 month ago because of my anxiety and the fact that I'm not okay. The day before my exams, I tried to take my life. It was the intention that I had. My sister came to my room and saw me in tears and with the medicine. My mother decided to call the hospital and I stayed here for two days. So when she said that I was in hospital, I was really hurt  because it was hard for me. And I trusted her a lot. So now I decided to stop my friendship with her. And she thinks we are always friend. 

Also today I discovered that my sister was in toxic friendship. I'm worried about it... 

Now I have period cramps it hurt. Also when I came back to my room I saw a big scry spider TT. I'm scared of spider @_@. So I put clothes just in front of my door to be sure she doesn't come. 

I didn't took pictures of my outfit I'm sorry TT. 

I hope tomorrow will be better... 

Body and gender  dysmorphia are here again... yay 

It's hard when everyone is calling me a she. Hopefully I have friends who call me he or they. I'm thinking about changing my name... But I don't know because I'm attached to the name I have... I don't know.