last year of school

hello again..

as the subject of this blog says, i'm in my last year of school now. i'm in fifth year, meaning i could stay on until sixth year, but i REALLY dislike school, i always have. the teachers are often patronising and only seem to enjoy interacting with more outgoing students, the students are all so judgemental, and the overall atmosphere is just awful.

i struggle with anxiety (mainly social) which realistically stemmed from school. i know i'm going to be in a much better place mentally once the year is done and i'll be able to express myself more without such a fear of being judged, but at the same time, i'm SO nervous about it all. like wdym after next month i'll never have to go back? i'm almost 17, and realistically my teenage years are almost over, and i feel like i haven't really experienced anything all because i'm a bit different to the people in my classes. i should add that i live in scotland (iykyk. people can be so cruel here). 

i'm probably just paranoid and overthinking LOL, i'm just posting this in hopes that someone will relate to this at least a little. i also wanna get it off my chest without spewing nonsense at my poor friends who already hear enough of this shit from me :')