(Long post ahead with too many topics)

I've officially lost it. I was already overstimulated and really found the happy parts of me to be fried. I worked before the pandemic, but between having two kids, my gallbladder eating shit in between having the two kids, and my Dad passing away, I had no shot to get up. 

Now here I sit, nearly two months on testosterone, my husband lost his job to DEI, he has a few interviews coming up, and his small business on the side, and I do commission crochet work while getting ready for homeschool since IEP's are on the chopping block and some states have already enforced the ban on IEP's. 

The MAGA Cult likes to bark up and down and swear on the bible that their president didn't touch, that America was divided in Biden and Obama's Presidency; and the only division I saw was excluding white supremacy, so maybe that's why they were bitter.. Given the racist track record, I'd say it checks to be honest.

And I am so EXHAUSTED by all the talking points they repeat, I have a way to shut down every single one, like "Yes, the republican party slapped slavery out of existence, but Trump just brought back merit pay which does not protect against discrimination for people of color or those of another sexual orientation or gender identity. MEANING THEY ARE OPEN TO BEING FIRED FOR THOSE REASONS", or the good ol' "hey so he just brought segregation back".

In all honesty I think we are cooked, and I'm stressed, mortified, and pissed. It's brought back my rebellious political teen years in all honesty, and I will be joining my first protest next month.

Another thing that has my ass chapped, how the fuck are they gonna bark and yap at Hillary when Pete Hegseth just leaked literal WAR PLANS and had HIS WIFE in the room of confidential meetings?!?!?!?!? I mean could we even begin to imagine if the democrats got into office and did this shit?? They would NEVER shut up.. And it's so fucking annoying and hypocritical.. I genuinely don't fucking get it.

I was playing with people pleasing for seven years before I even got the honor of medically transitioning. I'm tired. I'm scared, and for fucks sake, I don't know if it's the political climate, the air, or what.. but I swear to god I have seen the plot we are living in movies before, and the outcomes and middle are the most butthole clenching.

Most of all, I'm fucking heartbroken. My Dad dated this older woman before he passed away, and she proudly flexed supporting Trump. After the Election she messaged me some tinfoil hat ass shit about Kamala, which just pissed me off because Kamala didn't even win; and then she proceeded to try and make me promise to not vote for her at one point, so eventually I told her I started hormones, that my children would understand love and be intelligent, that I'm accepted by my husband, and that I can still transition in makeup. I sent her articles, clips, everything I could think of that would hit her directly since she claimed to care about and love my family and I so much; nothing. Paternally I'm alone. My mom is a toxic bitch, her husband was weird with me, and as I stated earlier, my biological father passed away, and his ex is just a fucking cunt.

I'm starting to run out of joy in all honesty, and while I am in a blue state, it's still really really fucking R O U G H. We still eat the high grocery prices and everything else.

Idk.. I guess if he was gonna fuck human rights he could have at least been honest about the fucking food or idk.. actually lower the prices as promised, or better yet, leave human rights the fuck alone?

And as if that's not bad enough, they are trying to snag him a third term via having JD go in 2028 with Trump as his VP so he can pass it down, and a few other possible things are on the chalkboard over there, so yeah, good colonial times ahead I guess..