two weeks to a month have passed

I haven't sat down and blogged for a moment so i gotta recount some stuff

At the beginning of March, my boyfriend and I were going to Brooklyn to see a live podcast of Talk Nasty To Me bc my bf is a Nicole Raifee fan. We were going into the subway and I knew my MetroCard only had one swipe left on it, so we just doubled to go through the turnstile and it turned out there was a cop nearby who needed to protect the people of the city and ticket us for doing that, which it only was a warning because we were first time offenders (first time we were caught). If I get caught again it will be a $100 fine. To be honest I'm okay with this changing my habits and starting to actually pay to get in because I have not payed very often for like that last three years, so at this point I'm balanced at my risk/reward money saving karma. But also like I have to take the MetroNorth to get into the city and like that's $30 round trip, so I really think the MTA is getting their money's worth out of me and I extra don't feel bad for hopping or doubling. I didn't think that anyone could notice doubling as opposed to hopping but I guess I'm wrong. But I guess I'd rather be caught in the act doubling over being caught in the act hopping. The worst part about all this though was that that night of the TNTM Tour was mime themed so we were both in mime makeup and that was extra embarrassing. And the transit authority sent us letters to notify that we're getting a warning so they sent mail to my bf's house while he wasn't there and his parents are asshole mail openers and saw it and I fell really really bad for getting them in a situation where his parents are gonna be upset with him

And speaking of my boyfriend as of the end of March our relationship has officially outlasted my previous relationship with my ex, and this amount of time feels shorter with him than it did with my ex and that makes me feel really happy. and I want to be together for a long time and in another month I can get to make a social media post for him and really be public hard launching for the first time bc I've been less active on social media. 

I've also been going to some shows too

Last week I saw Me in Capris https://meincapris.bandcamp.com/album/for-those-who-think-you-remaster in Brooklyn, which is Adam Demirjan's new(er) band, (after the breakup of Brave Little Abacus. https://bravelittleabacushampshire.bandcamp.com/album/masked-dancers-concern-in-so-many-things-you-forgot-where-you-are ) I showed him my Masked Dancers tattoo and told him about my New Hampshire origins at the bar before the show, and he was really stoked. His sister was there too and was also so excited and gave me a hug. A buddy of mine from the Syracuse scene put the show together so hopefully in the future I could work with the band in some capacity. also I saw Max from Ultra Deluxe https://ultradeluxemusic.bandcamp.com/album/the-floria-wars-2 there and she like loves seeing me at shows tbh but its always loud and we can't talk that well :/

I also went to the Bowery Ballroom (in Manhattan) for the first time to see Weatherday on tour for their new album (which was awesome https://weatherornot.bandcamp.com/album/hornet-disaster  ) with Combat https://counterintuitiverecords.bandcamp.com/album/stay-golden and Ogbert the Nerd https://ogbertthenerd.bandcamp.com/album/i-dont-hate-you opening. It was a super fun show the whole way through, I don't listen to Obgert and Combat that much but they have great live sets every time I'd seen them prior. The last time I saw Combat was in a basement in Syracuse, which was cool because I think that's one of the first bands I've seen play a house show and then later on in a big touring venue. But the last time I saw Combat, as in the people in the band was also in Syracuse a little later on from the basement show at a Jeff Rosenstock gig, I think they were mid tour and happened to have stopped by to see their hometown friend that went to school in Syracuse. And also I have actually had some meaninglful interaction with the band's side project VIRTUA https://virtuamusic.bandcamp.com/album/shopping-for-fangs who have played a few times in Syracuse at DIY spots that I helped run. They still remembered me at the latest show so that felt really nice. I lowkey did a little bit of heckling at that show, which is unusual behavior from me i think, at Ogbert and Combat but I kept it short and funny (i hope). There were some 'hype moments ' for sure during songs in both sets full of band members from the other bands playing parts of the song, stage diving from fans and bands, and plenty of crowd surfers and singalongs. I even saw some clips of the show going around on emo twiiter n such.  and so the show also had a crowd/band stop to escort out an unconscious person moment carry out in perfect execution. but I always feel awkward for the person injured because inevitably you're going to get stared at by the whole venue throughout the ordeal which probably sucks, but is better than dying ig. Weatherday went on with their lineup consisting of members of Oolong https://oolongbois.bandcamp.com/album/about-your-imaginary-friend and Micheal Cera Palin https://michaelcerapalin.bandcamp.com/album/the-loose-ends-of-act-1-2015-2020-remastered playing Drums and Bass respectively. I'm not sure who the backing guitarist was for this tour, it was elliot from MCP the previous time I saw Weatherday (which was in Troy NY and one of the fist dates with my now bf :D ) They are a really cool band to be like one the THE bands of the fifth wave, being from Sweden, pretty much internet exclusive, being genderqueer, and going six whole years between albums seem to be they reason they're so cool, to me at least.

The most recent screamo/hc show I went to was being run by Blursday https://www.instagram.com/blursdaynyc/ at an art galley in the East Village, and it was ppackedd. I went to that show with an old dear friend of mine, Laura. It was the first time I'd seen her in at least a year and it was really sweet that they had fun at the show and was really happy about my transition plans and I met their gf and I was just happy to see her. I think she is definitely one of my biggest understanding supporters, they've said some very nice thoughtful things tp me that I keep around in my brain. But yeah we both looked so girl ly bitch boss as fuck that night both in such cute outfits. Okay I'm getting sidetracked. So the bands I saw there were XBONGX https://xbongx.bandcamp.com/album/demo-2  Sesame https://sites.google.com/view/alloriginalanymedium/home  Emily Grimm https://emilygrimm.bandcamp.com/album/demo-2025  and Letters of Marque https://lom41312.bandcamp.com/album/i-4  and they crowd was just slamming . If I could foresee what a potential overripening of the scene will end up looking like it will be too much carelessness in crowdkilling. The NYC skramz scene post- Shadow Taller, post- Mob Eight  has been getting crazy with the moshing. I really liked the bands, but another thing that could be a problem in the near feature is getting stuck in the breakdown based song structures. which hasn't happened yet and I hope that the fifth wave, skramz and hardcore section of it specifically, keeps up the creativity and the energy that's been pumping out of it as of late. 

Next up for shows; is the Clam Jam in Pawtucket RI this weekend with the most stacked fifth wave skramz lineup in history!!                  

At the begining of March my bf and I hung out with an old high school friend of mine, Cece and it was on a whim like she just texted me and we hung out later that night whuch is the type of friendship I always aspire for yet it happens so seldom. We just hung out at the town basketball courts and chatted for a couple hours in the first warm night for a while. I really love that all my friends have been getting along so nicely with my bf and we are perceived as a definitive couple

I feel like its making more and more sense for me to be a girl in the mirror my hair is looking really nice and ive been motived to wash and moisture ize my face when i think of it like pressingg the hypotheticl button iykyk but also i still feel compleed to be in boymoding territory until i move out. but im just so happy that I think that some of my old friends are able to see it too for me

Also I brought my bf to Stew Leonards in Norwalk, CT recently, which he hadn't been to because that store is like a Connecticut thing and he grew up further north in NY and not near CT. I think it's a very nice date location despite being a grocery store

And at work I feel a little less like a failure but not much. I'm on a pretty good no fuckups streak as of now.