I hope he appreciates me… I do.

Is there anything else I could write… other than dread?

No. Not really.

And a part of me doesn’t even want to write about happiness.

I’d rather show you the dark side of my moon—

The half no one ever appreciates.

Not the lit-up, polished version.

No.

The side that’s quiet. Ugly. Forgotten.

But real.

Look closer.

Not at the face, not at the smile—

But beneath the surface.

Into the soul.

That’s where the truth lives.

That’s where I’m most precious, most unique…

And most weak.

Yeah. Weak.

Not because I’m pathetic.

But because I’m real.

Because this pain—this dread—

It’s the reason I’m still here.

It’s what helped us all survive.

Fear, sadness, these electric pulses running through our veins—

They kept us from being eaten alive.

They told us to run. To hide.

To feel.

Now, I’m no believer in gods or higher beings.

But if one did exist…

What would He even say to me?

What punishment? What wisdom?

I don’t know.

I don’t think I want to know.

But I do hope—

In some distant corner of this universe,

There’s another version of me.

One who’s happy.

Content.

Responsible.

In love.

Someone who doesn’t look at life like it’s slipping through his fingers.

Someone who thanks the stars for my failures—

Because they led him to the right path.

That Neo…

He’s not like me.

He wouldn’t want to disappear.

He wouldn’t dream of vanishing into silence.

He’d hold her tighter.

He’d never let her slip away.

I hope he lives.

I hope he smiles.

I hope he prays for the version of me who couldn’t do it.

And I hope he knows…

I suffered for him.

So he never would have to.