I think about you all the time

My whole life, all I ever wanted was to be good enough for you. I wanted your approval so badly, I craved your validation. I wanted you to love me and I begged you for something that you should have automatically been doing. I think about you all the time that it genuinely kills me, I talk about whenever I get the chance. No matter what you did and no matter what you put me through, I will always be the little girl that just wanted her mother's attention. I understand that you were taken advantage of when you were a teenager and I understand what it's life having to grow up too fast, as a woman I sympathize with you but as your daughter, I despise you for taking it out on me. Frankly, everytime someone tells me "but she's still your mother" a piece of me actually dies. Just birthing someone doesn't automatically make you the mother of the year, you actually have to be there and you actually have to care. Sometimes I'll randomly think about you and how much I always wanted you to like me, I tried to be the best daughter. I had good grades in school and I took care of my siblings all the time, just to make it a little easier on you. Nothing I ever did was enough for you, no matter what I did and no matter how hard I tried, my best was never going to be enough for you. I'm 17 now and soon I'll be 18 but everytime I see a mother and her daughter hanging out, I'm suddenly a little girl again who so deeply just wanted her mother to love her unconditionally.