miserable ass month

I can't even begin to express how miserable I've been lately. I hate it at home, everyone is on me at all times like I'm some ticking time bomb about to go off, they've got me on suicide watch and shit and it's fucking miserable. And I can't go anywhere because none of my "friends" actually like me. With what's been happening at school, it's so insanely clear that they don't actually like me, it's so obvious. I finally got the chance to open up and be weirder and be literally myself and they just hate it. They just make fun of me and think I'm weird for everything I do. I'm just absolutely miserable, I think about roping. I'm so upset all the time. I don't even know what to do about it anymore. No one fucking likes me and I don't even know why. I hate everyone so much I just want to cry and scream and bash my head in with a hammer. Whatever man I don't even care.