Update on my mom's condition

There's a lot going in my life, but I'm going to put all my energy on my family.

My mother was in the hospital since early March, when I found her having a stroke. The paramedics took her to a stroke hospital, but two things happened:

1. It turns out she didn't have a stroke
2. Her heart stopped 3 times.

I'm not gonna get into specifics because this is personal information, but I need to vent somewhere so I'll just say this much.

She has a pacemaker now and somehow got some people's approval for a discharge. The next day, she felt weak so used her right to cancel a dialysis appointment. The next day, while I was at work, she fell from the car after her date with my father. She ended up at another hospital.

Right now, my mother is on bedrest again, fighting for her life again. She's slowly improving but it's going to be a long ride. She definitely won't be home for a while. I just want her to get better 100% in her own time. I don't want her to keep rushing recovery.

There's a lot more stuff happening around me, but I'm not going to stress about it. My sister has been harping on me, calling me useless, lazy (I have depression - the type that makes it difficult for me to do much when I'm in a certain state), and accusing me of being the potential reason why our family home has been a mess for years. She also, along with my other relatives, pressured me to believe it is my sole responsibility to take care of my parents as the eldest child in the family.

I'm feeling like I'm in the beginning of Mulan. My father has a cane and is old, too, so it's hitting too close to home.

My sister also is slowly convincing people of her opinion of me, so I'm always trying to be myself around the nurses and doctors, proving to them the contradiction of what persona my sister portrays. It really did hurt when she accused me of being the reason why my parents are slowly dying.

That's where my headspace is at.