mincerafts and csh and thunkers (Jargin No.9)

I'm a bit late on my weekly blog, but I haven't had a lot to say recently. I guess this one is just a general life update post

I finished the first two Tokyo Ghoul books, pretty friggin sweet, awesome art and the story is good so far. even though i kinda know whats gonna happen because I watched the first eight episodes of the anime before deciding to switch to the mangas

Five minutes ago i was playing minecraft and listening to car seat headrest (still listening right now it is playing Bodys at 0:33 as I write) and it made me just kinda feel gay and upset, and its csh so obviously its gonna do that but it made me think some about how finding a significant other will go in the future. ideally it'll come along naturally through someone i like and naturally develop over time, but i think to myself who this person would even be. like would i be with someone who is creative and art focused, or maybe theyre kinda just nerdy and i like talking with them, or what evs.

I think every once in a while that i might just at some point sleep with someone just because, like i haven't been touched by anyone in an affectionate way ever except that one time a classmate rubbed my shoulders obviously trying to make the joke that another boy was rubbing a boys shoulders and it wouldve been "ewww gay" but i kinda just sat there malfunctioning. like it was still slightly uncomfortable because it was a random guy coming up to me and touching me but still. anyway back to what i was saying, never been touched because chuddy gay boy whatever. but i have a right enough mind and im sensible enough to know that i absolutely shouldnt do that because its kinda soulless and it would be unfulfilling and whatever, i dont plan on sleeping with a random guy but you neva know....

my worst fear going into college is that there will be no chance for love sprouting at all because im gonna be a computer science major and somewhat stuck with that crowd. thats not true i can go whereever and do whatever i want but ya'know. CS is full of rotten stank dudes and elon musk tech bros likely and the only gays there would be like "uwu femboy ultrakill monster thigh highs" and dont get me wrong i love an ultrakill and an monster and i got no problems with however people want to express themselves but generally those individuals are unbearably annoying. porn jokes and unfunny and self demeaning humor whatnot.

The other gays i can think about are like alternative gays that like alex g or and mother mother tally hall terrible beings. cavetown too. nightmare beings, goodness. I gotta just have a dude as my boyfriend and we love each other for each others honest beings and no show being put on. just the two of us and we happy and gay (get it? get it?)

I would say to all gay people hit me up ahah but I am generally opposed to dating over the internet because it's hard to see people for real if they are words on the screen instead of a person in front of me. Also meeting someone with the immediate intention of dating them is something im incredibly opposed to also (tinder, grindr, etc like i know those are pretty much hookup apps atp but also whatever the other ones were like bumble or whatever it was called i dont remember). it's love completely manufactured and shoehorned and im not saying soulmates cant find eachother there or anything but i dont like it. Ive been thinking of going on grindr or bumble fumble whatever to see what the audience is and then that't it. like no intention of actually messaging back anyone or anything. But my greatest fear is matching with like a current classmate or a teacher or something because my town is pretty small 'round 'ere. nightmare scenario

Hey guys! Just woke up to reality and broke out of my mood, and wowie bazowie was THAT a real sad sight. Sorry folks, ignore alla' that. Gay people suck lol they just sad all the time.

Annyyywayyy, I still don't got much to say 'round this week. Hopefully next week I am hyper focusing on some random game or album and I'm like "look look lookie guys" and I can write a 99999999999999999999 page paragraph about that with a ton of art and video to compliment it. That isn't this week, though.

OH wait one cool thing I'm thinking about it going to GenCon 2025 as The Doctor from Gloomwood. 100% sure nobody will recognize the costume but I will and that's all that matters

Anayway, you folks are cool, if you read these at all. Unlikely.... but there might be just, like, one guy who reads these blogs and doesn't leave any Kudos or anything. So if that's you, aweshum. Thx 4 reading :]]]