Things I understand.

I always wonder what is wrong with me. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with everyone. I am not alone, but I am lonely. I can't believe anything people say. I don't feel like they are real. I don't know if they are.

I can't trust anything. I don't even trust myself. I don't want to.

My body is a limitation to the things I could do. My brain is in a cage of bone and flesh, and it fights to break out. I want to do so many things, but I am sick. I am ill, and everybody is in denial. I am not human. I don't feel like it. I just want to be noticed, to share, to get these things out of my brain before it explodes.

Why am I so unattractive to everyone? I don't mean it because of my looks. There is something about the way I express my existence that gets people to just look away without hesitation. I want attention, I want to show you something, I want to do something. Please, I don't want to do it alone.

I've always had a hard time holding conversation with humans. There is something about humanity that is unnerving to me. It makes me want to throw up. It makes me want to pull you into the woods and show you what we are truly made of, show you the things we can do, and that we are not just a number, or a person.

I think people don't really think much of the weight that the word "person" has. I think we don't take our existence here seriously. I don't mean to say we're not allowed to have fun, to do things without much meaning, to do and say things just because. I mean it in a way of saying we don't realize of our own potential. I am unemployed, just starting to study at a university, and in my mind, I am somebody. I think I am very interesting. I want to cry my thoughts out to whoever happens to make contact with me, in any way or another. And I don't think I am the only one.

I have so much to do, and so little time. Nothing I ever do to get started with my projects is enough. I want to become someone in people's eyes. I am a person, but my surroundings do not recognize that.

I perceive things differently (does not mean negatively) and I feel like I am paying the price for being a creature in a world full of humans. Please, anyone, interact with this. I need to be real in someone's mind, I want to know what you think. I need to hear you, I need to read you. You matter to me, and I want to know what do you think of my rambling.