entry 3🍓

i'm so tired of this nigga.🍓

and you know she knows what the fuck she's doing but everytime i talk about it, people treat me like i'm the bitch.🍓

so i started going to a new "college" (i'll talk about this tomorrow) last year so naturally i have to room with someone. my roommate turns out to be a very friendly girl who sits beside me in every class. that's fine. i like her too.🍓

eventually i start bringing my boyfriend over to hang out sometimes (after making sure it's okay with all my roommates) and i notice that she only ever stays in the living room when he's over.🍓

i practically live in the living room. i'm always in there and she NEVER feels the need to hang out with me EXCEPT for when he's here. okay. literally whatever🍓

eventually he invites me over for a movie night at the guys' dorm and i tell her that i want to go. she doesn't show any interest because it's apparently "already late". so i say okay and i tell her that my boyfriend is going to carry me. all of a sudden she jumps up and starts getting ready. after finding out i'm riding with my boyfriend, she wants to go.🍓

okay. whateva. we go to the boys' dorm and we're watching a movie but my boyfriend and i are texting the whole way through because the movie is BORING. we decided to go out for snacks and i let her know that we're going out for a while. of course she tagged along.🍓

remember, she does NOT hang out with me unless my boyfriend is around.🍓

little by little i start noticing she's copying some of my mannerisms towards him. the very mannerisms that differentiate me as his girlfriend and her as just another person.🍓

i tried not to let it bother me until she did this.🍓 

so i love crocheting. i did it all the time, even during classes. it wasn't just a pass time, it was also my way of making a little money to help pay my bills and buy food and such (i can't get an actual job because i'm a foreign exchange student). so i'd crochet for fun, but i also customized and sold stuff to the people in my school. very small school mind you, we only have 30 students.🍓

she watched me crochet in class all the time and would constantly ask what i was making. my response EVERY SINGLE TIME was, "actually i don't like to tell people what i'm making until it's done and you can just see it. sorryyyyyy." keep that in mind.🍓

we go on winter break and she texts me to let me know she's started crocheting. this slightly bothers me just because she's copied my actions quite a bit before but i'm like okay. whatever.🍓

when we come back from our holiday, i realize she's been crocheting using the little beginner packets that come with instructions and yarn. and fuck you bitch because you will NEVER be me. but yea she starts doing this thing where she keeps on trying to guess what i'm making even after i told her i don't want her to know until i'm done.🍓

finally she comes to me and asks me, "hey what are you making?" so for the first time in 6 months, i just give in and say, "i'm making a dinosaur man." you know what she does? orders a packaged dinosaur and crochets that. she it quite literally just copying fucking everything i do.🍓

so now i'm actually pissed off because i really appreciate my individuality and i didn't like what she was doing at all. i'm trying my best not to hate her over something big and fucking stupid but...🍓

in our class of 30 bumboclaat students who i've BEEN selling crocheted products to, people have BEEN commissioning me all year and it's my ONLY source of income...she starts selling her things. her little copy and paste packaged crocheted shit. do you have any idea how much that fucked with me???🍓

a whole lot, for two reasons actually. for one, she followed every single thing i did until she became just a cheap copy. and for two, she HAS A JOB! something i'm legally unable to have. she has a fucking job. and she's knowingly taking away my only means of paying the bills i still have to pay, just like she does.🍓

PS: she stopped sitting beside me once she started selling her things.🍓

but she can never be me, she will literally never be me omg. and i'm lowkey not going to let it slide.🍓

i've started drawing out plans for a new project i'm going to work on and i know she notices. because everytime i'm working on it she walks over to me and looks over my shoulder and pretends she's just trying to interact with me as a friend. only when i obviously hide the papers from her, she'll say like one word and leave. and she keeps coming back to try and be nosey but i'll be damned if she takes this away from me.🍓

i'm tired of the people i tell making it seem like i'm having an unreasonable reaction. she's being so fucking trifling right now and i KNEW it was going to turn out like this the moment she only remembered we had a living room when my boyfriend was in it. i'm not going to fight her or anything, i'm not even going to tell her that i feel this way. but i'm going to do something she couldn't even dream of copying. inshaLLAH it works.🍓