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[ november 27th, '21 - 10:56pm ]
I wrote this prose/poem thing during a really difficult time in my life. I'd officially lost my faith largely because of what I'd been through and had to build my entire worldview from the ground up. So I did just that! I went out hiking very often and spent time reflecting in nature. One day, this came out of it :)
I want to share to see if it resonates with anyone out there and also archive it somewhere safe-ish.
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Thoughts from hiking on June 13th, 2019
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“Why am I more afraid of sitting on cliff's edge than I am of sitting in the treetops?
At a glance this might seem ludicrous
As this cliff will not go anywhere
But even looking over the gorge one can see trees fallen across the ground
It should feel more stable to taste the heights from the top of these solid rocks
But it doesn't
The unpredictability of the trees lightly tossing in the wind's wake feels somewhat close to home
Even when I'm sleeping, I'm not as still as stone
Nor will I ever be
The same can be said of all people, even those who find the most peaceful sleep
I think if I were to fall a tree could catch me
While my fragile frame might just shatter against the rocks
I feel like you could liken people to this too
For the ones that lean with nature's call will catch you
While those sedimentary beings stay put so as not to lose their place
While I teem like a tree and move to the will of human usage
I still feel I have a moving purpose
If one would only recycle me
And there's no shame in stone, you see
But to be a tree -- why that's how I was sewn to be
Organic, lively, not doomed to one space
Healing, growing, changing faces
Sacred place
Enshrouded by wooden limbs reaching out high
Even forever is temporary
This is where energy rests for me
I don't want to spend my life trying to be something I am not
Yet have encountered many who would
They sit in front of others in a stiff rhythm of voices
Peg it for authenticity
But what does it matter if you are not happy?
Doesn't playing a part get exhausting?
Especially when your eyes tell us you're lying?
I'd actually rather be nothing
Instead of worrying somebody sees that I'm shaking
I'd like to compare a sky to a ceiling
And how property lines don't understand a confinement like sky
There are no fences up there
And I think she laughs when she sees me stake claim as my property
For it all goes back to her
She's seen all and graciously makes way for our greediness
I don't know how we don't see how it really is.”
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