The End of a Chapter.

   Recently I've switch schools, it hasn't been great. A lot of my friends from my old school haven't asked where I am and I'm sad I never properly got to say good bye. This weekend my last connection to my old school was broken. I lost someone very special, and I haven't been feeling to well because of it. I'm not very happy with myself for how I treated them. But I feel as if it could have worked out. I'm really upset they wouldn't give me that chance to change and better myself, and instead went to the extreme instantly and broke things off. Perhaps I didn't deserve it though. You live and you learn, and all you can do is keep moving. Keep learning. Focus on yourself. If you don't love yourself first, you are never gonna be able to love someone else healthily. So that's what I'm gonna work on. Loving myself. Caring about myself. That way when I finally do find the one, I will be able to love them properly. When I meet that person, I want to be able to show them all the love I am able to give, and if I'm going to do that I need to learn to love myself. So I can learn how to show my love. 

   However I just wish that you were the one. I wish we could've worked out. You were kind and caring. I loved being with you. You were my best friend. I thought I was doing okay, why didn't you tell me I wasn't? I wish I had focused on myself first before I had put us in this position. I'm sorry I wasn't able to love you properly. I'm sorry I made you worry about me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on. I'm sorry I wasn't able to communicate what was going on. I never knew how upset it made you. I'm sorry I didn't notice. I wish there was a way where I could have made it up to you, because I'm so upset I hurt you. I'm upset I made you feel like I didn't trust you. I'm upset I made you not trust me. You never deserved that. I hope you are able to move on and find someone else who makes you happy. As happy as you made me.

I hope as I work on myself, I can work towards being a better friend for you, and the others around me.