3 years ago

holy fuck, so my memory is terrible so I'm gonna miss a lot, but 3 year ago I broke up with my partner. There was a lot to that but we really just weren't partners, just friends. that friendship stayed strong until about a couple of months ago. Rediscovered my love for camping. School was stressful but not to the extent it is now. Going part time makes it easier in some ways but it actually feels like it never ends now. For about a year everything was going well, just surviving and making the best out of everything, then past year.. 2024. that shit was rough.

My brother got very sick and had to have multiple surgeries and only just now he has recovered, and it's not a full recovery really. That was half a year of having to work part time, go to school part time, and take car of him and his girlfriend in my dwindling free time. The further you go into uni, the less control you have over your schedule. I won't go into detail but lets just say I'm very disappointed in certain people, medical staff included .

During Christmas I had to put my cat Felix down, he was also my brothers cat and we loved him very much. He was 16 when he passed, and I keep him on my couch in front of the heater, where he loved to lay.

The summer before I found out my friend cheated on her bf of 10 years while they were in an open relationship making me reconsider having them as a friend. Then recently another friend started spouting some trump bs and also some racist bs and now I'm losing another friend. I cannot be friends with people like that and we were drifting apart anyways.

I've just turned 30 and lost like half of my friends, I've attempted to regain some old ones that drifted apart during college.. well when they went to college and I went to work shitty retail jobs. It's kinda working, I'm just bad at making friends now that I don't leave the house much for recreation things.

All of this caused a breakdown at work and I had to secretly text the crisis hotline and continue to do my job crying... That lead to me finally getting a therapist that takes my insurance and hopeful testing for adhd, which would help me deal with the world because I'm slowly losing the ability to CAN.

There's so much more really but damn this has been a downer. There are some positives going on. mostly that it's almost summer and I can finally recoup this past year and maybe makes some new friends through another friends dnd group. although I don't want to play...