Boy loves boy = End of the world. Why?

   Hey! So, thanks for reading because this is like important to me. Me and sexuality have a long and complex history, and I'm expecting it to continue being like that. Lately, as in the past two years or so, I've had so many new feelings when it comes to attraction - So for first I've found so many new feelings towards girls which I hadn't felt in a lot. For a bit of context, my first crush on someone was a girl actually, and it was so big I was even nervous around her. It was 1st grade, can you judge me?

   My list of crushes, in fact, is a short, but very meaningful one. But anyway, that's tea for another day. What I really wanted to talk about pertains to the title - out of all the sins there are, I find homosexuality to be one of the most harmless ones. Why should it be looked further down upon to love someone who's of your same sex compared to actually horrific things a human can do? These feelings have driven me to make college-level research in attempts to validate them, something which I still can't do. "Being gay is a choice" - If I had a choice I would've said hell no! Which leads me to admit lately something's shifted in my life and I no longer have much interest in guys... from my country. In fact, I can extend this to girls in my country as well but again - that's for another conversation. 

   I posted this to the religion category because it's quite mainly that aspect of society which has a problem with homosexuality. Listen; am I aware humans don't reproduce that way? Yes. Could that be an indicative that it's something that's unnatural? I don't think so. Here's why:

   If you know anything about all this, you're probably expecting me to put the blame on Xq28, the gene in the X Chromosome row which has been loosely linked to homosexual attraction. And, yes, this entry is more focused on the genetic and scientific part of the phenomenon, because true science is irrefutable and it offers a more solid answer which can't be let up for interpretation. While it's true that research has shown Xq28 to be accountable up to a degree, it can't be pinpointed as "the" gene which makes us gay. However, it has found that human sexuality is mostly a molecular-level genetic-driven factor. A study by the UCLA [1] proposed that a chemical attachment to certain parts of our DNA can decide whether someone's gay or not. How'd they find that? Epigenetics. Wikipedia says that "Epigenetics is the study of hereditable traits [...]" [2] It studies the way an environment can chemically modify your genes. [3] An example of this in nature are ants; they, by nutrition and pheromones, can chemically alter an ant's embryo, to make it a soldier or worker, depending on what's needed. So... how does this relate?

   Take a look at a gay - what can you notice? When compared to their straight counterparts; gay men typically show less aggressive and hostile behavior, a will to teamwork, and more emotionally intelligent. Doesn't that sound like the kind of son mothers need? And exactly that is where I'm headed. To start off, by the birth of a son, the chance of the next son being gay goes up by 33% if I'm not wrong. It gets to a point where it's possible, that upon having lots of kids, one son might come out gay. Why? Scientists have proposed that the mother's immune system reacts to all these kids being born by assigning homosexuality to the next son as a means to give a helping hand to the mother, think of it as it making her kid her helper. This can also happen under situations of pre-natal stress, since the mother feels the need for help under a difficult situaysh, it makes her kid her helper. This whole thing kind of reminds me of when you take a pawn in chess to the opposite end of the table and turn it into whatever piece you need to win the game. 

   Now, put yourself into context with what I just said and let me ask you; doesn't it seem plausible? After all, it is "survival of the fittest", but of the fittest family. And in order for the family to push through hardship, all its components must work in harmony. How can that happen if the gay son's role as the helping hand is neglected and denied because of his feelings? Just think; is being gay really was wrong, wouldn't evolution and natural selection have erased it by now? It's not like gay people reproduce, an elementary schooler can tell you that, so how are there still gay people around today? Isn't it convenient for society to have gays anyway?

   There's lots of topics I didn't discuss in this entry because they're not that relevant or I'm not that educated on them, but what I did write this for is to get in touch with my feelings, which I've known for years. I've started to feel things - for women specifically - that I hadn't in years. This might (and probably is) just me overreacting, but I can't deny that having a definitive answer as to why I am the way I am would be of very much comfort. For now, all I can say is that lots of things in my life are changing right before my eyes, and one in specific, has led me to like it. One, very special cause, has made me rethink what I thought I knew... what I thought I knew about love. 

   If you made it here, thanks a mil, it means a lot. My sources are attached below.

   Please advise me of any corrections.

   Love, Adolfo.

1) http://gaystudies.genetics.ucla.edu/UCLA%20Twin%20Sexual%20Orientation%20Study/Read%20More_files/Ngun.pdf

2) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics

3) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6p1nmOnILA

4) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Khn_z9FPmU