all my dreams are legit acid trips

does anyone know genuinely why in the absolute hell all my dreams are so fucking weird??? they’re always super vivid no matter what they’re about. it could be about something random, something really boring, some storyline my brain conjures up, whatever. but they are ALWAYS weird. and very VERY vivid.

i’m talking i can feel/smell/taste and everything is in sharp quality like going to the eye doctor to test your sight and finding out one of the lens options works so well you need glasses. i’m talking going from squinting at a faint image to big shit in BOLD. these dreams are so real and clear it feels like it’s actually happening every single time.

also, i never end up actually feeling rested either if that counts for anything.

questions that i know are coming:

- have you tried melatonin?

yes. it makes it worse and ends up giving me JUST nightmares. yes i’ve tried different kinds and dosages.

- do you have night terrors?

not necessarily, but that’s what i’ve ended up referring to them as because it seems to be the only thing i’ve found that makes the most sense. i do talk and scream in my sleep, even though most of the time my dreams aren’t even bad or scary.

- is it stress?

i genuinely do not know. that’s what i’ve kind of been leaning towards, but we’re talking literal YEARS of this all the time for as long as i can remember. so maybe not.

- do you watch anything intense or scary before bed?

no. i don’t have the attention span and although i do love horror/thriller, it’s not something i could fall asleep to. i’m not THAT comfortable with it.

- what about medication(s)?

yes, i am on a few medications, but these have been going on longer than i’ve been on meds. i mean since i was LITTLE little. like itty bitty baby not even conscious of existing yet.

side note; at least one (idk about the other couple, ill have to look into them to find out as i don’t remember) of my medications IS an ssri. i recently have been made aware that ssri medications can hinder/stop rem during sleep, which could explain the constant fatigue/not feeling rested, but not the dreams. thats what i’m focusing on here.

- have you seen a doctor?

yes. many. and therapists. the only thing i haven’t done is a sleep study and i’m not sure how to arrange one or if there’s even a place close to me that i can have one done at.

- hormones?

i am NOT getting my blood drawn. i am absolutely horrified of needles (many reasons, i also am working on it currently in therapy) and definitely 100% CANNOT get anywhere close to them in a medical setting. i know some of you are probably going to say “tough luck, man up”, but that is not how trauma or phobias work. if i could, BELIEVE ME I WOULD. for SO many reasons. i can’t even be in the same room as one or i will completely panic and go full fight or flight. labs/blood drawing to test levels of whatever is off the table as of currently, but progress is being made to hopefully change that.

if anyone has suggestions or ideas or recommendations or literally anything just comment and i’ll go through to read them as soon as i can. literally anything. at all. whatsoever. i don’t care how weird or crazy or out there it is, throw it at me. i’m game for anything.

if you’re debating about posting something with a personal anecdote of something similar, PLEASE do in whatever detail you’re comfortable with. your story really could help send me searching in the right direction, you never know.

any other questions that weren’t answered here, comment and i’ll give answers as best i can!