23/03/2025 11.15 pm

Walking throught the forest, just trying to... 

The wind touching my skin, my hair, feeling it as it takes away stories I've never lived before, but I can feel them slipping away from my hands. Do I even feel alive? Am I even alive? What am I? Why am I here?

As I get deeper into the forest the sun starts to fade in between the leafs of the trees, I start to twirl, the wind is lifting me... taking all of my worries away, I am alive, I feel insipired by you. A song by Mac DeMarco in the back of my mind, me head turns to the side as I write this, thinking I saw someone standing next to me from the corner of my eye. My throat hurts, it's been hurting all day...

Just my throat?

...

it's just my throat... isn't it?

My heart starts to sink.

Why do I even feel this way? I have all I ever wanted to have, I'm studying my degree, I have a good partner and I'm finally away from my father.

The bedroom walls collapse, I'm in the forest back again, I don't weight almost nothing, I smile... trying to embrace and romanticize the life I have, I feel great, I feel great, I feel great, I promise.

I'm sure everything will go back to normal once you come back, but...

I'm afraid to think that I will still fantisize of running away, grabbing a flip phone, my sketchbook, my mp3 and run away from the modernity...

Modernity?

What am I even running from?

My heart aches, aches so hard for stories I'll never live... that's why I write, to live things I won't be able to experiment in my reality.

Romantic scenarios I'll never live.

Maybe I do need to escape.

Maybe I want to meet a poet to be happy, a romantic one... who would give me flowers.

A tragic love in the 1800's seeing each other in secret because the world would shatter if it sees a pair of men being devoted to their hearts.

A childhood friend who never stopped talking to me and fell for me instead.

A story of two tragic souls with a tragic past that can only find peace in their lover's arms.

Oh my prince... my romantic poet.

Will you ever arrive to the forest?


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