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Day the Penis asked for a Raise
I, the Penis,
hereby request a raise in
salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into
everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public
holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that
has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to
contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request,
and considering the arguments
you have
raised, the administration
rejects your request for the
following
reasons:
You do not work 8 hours
straight.
You fall asleep after brief work
periods.
You do not always follow the
orders of the management
team. You do
not stay in your designated area
and are often seen visiting other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you
need to be pressured and
stimulated in
order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather
messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe
necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing
the
Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you
are 65.
You are unable to work double
shifts.
You sometimes leave your
designated work area before you
have completed
the assigned task..
And if that were not all, you
have been seen constantly
entering and
exiting the workplace carrying
two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
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