tw unhealthy attachment ig sorry

im not sure which category should i choose.. 

hi guys!! Well, hahaha, I'll get to the point. due to some events between me and the person I love, my addiction towards him and my sadistic/masochistic tendencies + anxiety + paranoia have escalated haha. this person is present everywhere in my information field, so I have few places where I can ask... he and I have selfsons, and I'd really like to know if someone can draw sketches with our selfsons, where mine will hurt his one? i'll pay for it, it would be great if youre in russia... im sorry if it could trigger someone,,, or anything else...