THAT HOE again

Wordcount: >1000, Est. Reading Time: 3-6min

ANOTHER rant about my ex best friend
CW: excessive swearing since I'm really mad!!

This is a RANT/VENT post!!!

You may or may not have seen my now deleted blog post about the hoe i used to call my best friend.

I deleted it bc she did in fact message me a couple days after my post!

I thought all was well and that maybe we could talk things out! she didn't know i was mad at her yk- so i thought it would be nice to see her- maybe work things out!! I felt like an asshole for writing an 1k word blog post about her, yknow?

that was some absolute rose coloured glasses type shit i was thinking, i do in fact REALLY regret deleting it ;-;

SHE picked a day to meet up, i finish school around 2:30 that day, she goes to a vocational school, and finished at 12:30 that day, she KNOWS this, I organised my schedule around this day, mind you i don't have much time right now, im going through a lot of family shit since my grandmother is DYING, and i have a bunch of assessments coming up and all the classes i take are advanced level or content heavy. SHE KNOWS THIS. I wanted to see this friend as i thought it would be a nice break from all the doom n gloom, and the studying.

She fucking cancelled on me that morning because she didn't want to wait.

if you remember my last post, you'll know she pulled the same shit literally a couple weeks ago, setting up a day to meet up, i organise around the schedule, and then she cancels the morning of.

Mind you, she could've easily gone to a library and studied or done something to pass the time, her school is VERY VERY close to the shops we meet at, which is close to many other things like libraries, stores, cafes and parks. If you remember my last post about her, there were several times where i waited 2-3 hours for her without complaint! All because she kept sleeping in, whilst i woke up early, got ready nicely, and caught the earlier bus so i wouldn't be late. So at all my meetups with her i was an hour fucking early just bc i wouldn't dare keep her waiting 10 minutes, since the only bus that goes from my place to the shops is fucked. Yet despite all this, she cancelled a day that was her idea, that she knew she would have a wait, just because she suddenly decided i wasn't worth that time.

she also gave the excuse of "oh i have to cook dinner tonight" DINNER DOES NOT TAKE MUCH LONGER THAN AN HOUR. YOU COULDVE BEEN HOME BY 5PM EVEN IF WE MET UP.

I think for me that confirmed that she didnt really care as much as i once thought. The bitch who was rambling on about "oh ur my favourite person" "ur my bestieeee" "we'll share an apartment after high school" blah blah blah probably didnt care about any of that stuff! no matter how much i cared. no matter how much i did and gave up for her, she fucking tosses me aside like a rag as soon as she changes schools. 

no matter how many times she metaphorically slapped me across the fucking face over two years, i still fucking loved her like a sister. and frankly i thought she did too. But now i realise how fucking stupid i was, all i fucking did was feed that bitch's superiority complex for two years whilst she got whatever she wanted from me.

Frankly i should've seen it earlierrr. The people around her especially ick me out, and people are shaped by those closest to them yknow. Her parents are uptight snobby white homophobic christians, literal GOD complex (im fr hilarious ikik :>), her older sister is quite similar to her parents too- Her sister also has the most insufferable complex about her intellect among as other things; Her sister has also treated some of my friends who are her age like crap, being dismissive or bitchy to people who haven't done shit to her, who were even KIND TO HER. Im pretty sure ex-friend's sister's group participated when one of my close friends was being bullied, my friend also talked condescendingly about this friend of mine a few times. Some of her friends i mentioned in the last post are quite condescending people too. ALSO the WHOLE TIME we were sitting together in the library every lunch, she was lying to her parents saying she was sitting with other friends. LIKE?? What a way to tell someone you care more about appeasing your homophobic parents over admitting your close friends with someone gay. LIKE IK I LOOK KINDA GAY but also i DOUBT they just "figured it out" as she so said, im pretty fucking sure she outed me. (fr kinda tempted to out her but like thats just a shitty asshole thing to do yk so likeee-) 

SO YEAH- I MISSED EVERY FUCKING RED FLAG, IGNORED EVERY BIT OF MANIPULATION, DID EVERYTHING FOR HER, LISTENED TO HER TREAT MY FRIENDS LIKE CRAP, FELT THE JUDGEMENT OF HER HOMOPHOBIC PARENTS/SISTER AND WAS JUST TOSSED AWAY WHEN SHE DIDNT NEED ME. 

Im still not sure if she intended to hurt me that badly, but she did, and if she wants me back, i want more than an apology (if you remember my last post, she'd always apologise, then do the same thing a month later). I am so sick of just being the person she has for her "weird interest" (since ig anime is too shameful for her more 'proper' friends??). I am so sick of being always pushed around. I am so sick of being the one who has to give up everything. I AM SICK OF HER.

i haven't talked to her since that email, 3 days. i hope she can get it through her thick fucking skull that for once i dont need her. AND SHOCKINGLY, the moment im away from her, i doubled the amount of friends i have! its almost as if she was yknow- separating me from other people and making me doubt my social abilities!

Thanks for reading this shit
you guys are fr so kewl >:3
once again, if you have any advice, opinions, criticism ect, please feel welcome to comment!! (this applies to my entire blog btw :])