𓇢𓆸 Is this the kind of loneliness that gives you the power of invisibility? 𓇢𓆸

I must be Harry Potter then! though this cloak would be MUCH more exciting at Hogwarts. 

Roaming through a place so FULL with people and feeling like you are the only person in the world......might be your dream, and I agree, being alone is great, but when does alone cross that line to become lonely?

When you are a college student who ended up in a place that finds no familiarity with your soul.

If you find yourself in a place like that then you'll watch yourself try. Try so hard to fit in, if you are as sensitive about loneliness as I, you'll take steps so out of character to try and fix things with others. Isn't that pathetic? no actually, it is not. Trying to save a relationship you actually like can sometimes demand these things. What's pathetic is watching them not give a single rat's ass about losing someone they spent every waking moment with and still trying. 

College can astonish you with how hypocritical people can be. How almost every word someone speaks, no matter the words they use, the sentences they so wonderfully wove together and the tears they expel, is a shallow lie. No one, and I mean NO ONE, is taking it as deeply as you. Yes, you, the person that needs depth in their relationships like the angler fish needs the deep sea.   

Now, you can advice the sensitive souls to just "learn to have surface friendships" 

First of all, this shows your overall understanding of a person as such, who will get attached to your theatrics way too easily and will be shocked to see that it meant nothing.  

Second, no one in said place knows to be even just a friend.

I do often wonder if I'll ever look back when asked about my college life and refer to the few people I talk to as friends. Acquaintances maybe. 

And to continue with the previous thought of where alone ends and lonely begins, I've actually consciously crossed that line. From the 3rd to the 4th semester. 

Alone is when you believe you had a single almost friend, a couple of acquaintances and a few really close friends from school but still spend most of the time at college sitting in quiet, empty places with this feeling of "no one needs to fully understand, it is nice to be closed and emotionally distant, it is peaceful here, with myself, not having to explain or understand, and I still have a lacking but decent social life." And when things were too much, you had other people out of college to help you feel okay again.

Lonely is when you have no one. 

No. One.

When you look around and feel like you don't belong in the corridors you've been walking in for two years. When the few people that begged you to trust them find out they were lying. When the people out of college have an actual college life and forget the person they speak to everyday, whom they promise they cannot live without. And yes, you are happy they have new friends and don't have to depend on old friendships to get them through, but you just can't take it. Standing here, holding on to the past and seeing that you are the only one there. Everyone has moved on but you. Everyone is moving but you. Especially when you are struggling to even stay in the same place. There are voices all around you and you are invisible. Forgotten. Disappearing........

𓇢𓆸