What Choosing Myself Got Me In 7 Days

The day following my break up I reached out to an old friend- I suppose you could call him an old lover but we were never really together in all the 8 years we've known each other. We kissed, ONCE, nothing fancy, just a quick peck on the lips before he had to leave after the first time we met in person. When I reached out, I truly had no intention of MAKING it a romantic thing. I've never been one to enjoy hopping right into something else fresh after a break up. I think it's important to let a healing process run it's course(of course it's different for everyone). I truly just missed him and wanted to hang out, so I asked if he was free at all any time soon. He responded relatively fast, to which we set a date and time to hang out.

In the week leading up to us hanging out, I noticed that it was really only the first 2-3 days that I occasionally felt sad over my break up. I suppose it's because I've been through this exact scenario with this exact person so many times that there were very little tears left to cry over it. In addition to this- I saw an increase in my own sense of happiness. I believe this is due to the fact that even though I don't have a romantic partner anymore, it's better than having a romantic partner who doesn't even give me the bare minimum. I was no longer constantly waiting for a response, or waiting for him to make time for me. I was no longer wondering where I stood with someone who supposedly "loves me most". 

Instead, I knew I wouldn't receive a response, because there's no reason for us to try and talk often right after we broke things off for the final time. I was no longer wondering where I stood, or when time would be made for spending with me. Instead, I KNEW where I stood, and I KNEW we would not be seeing each other. I decided to let go of it all and move on because it was what was best for my emotional and mental health. After all, I did do this for the sake of my own happiness and sanity.

To say the least, I truly feel as if I started totally blossoming immediately following my break up.

Back to this old friend of mine. The day finally rolled around for us to meet up and hang out. The first place we went, we had met a couple of really cool, and fun, older women. This was probably the most social I had been with a stranger in a long time, but they were so easy to talk to and make friends for the night with. Suddenly one of the women asks us, "are you guys on a date?" To which I had turned to my friend because it truly, never really was clarified. To which he quickly told her "yes". She responded with a "oh my god you guys are so cute together!" I'm almost certain I blushed because though we had never really been THAT involved with each other- anyone could see from a mile away that we are both heavily attracted to each other, and we always have been.

For the sake of time, I'll spare you every last detail of the evening we had together. (I mean I did already kiss and tell, what more do you want? Oh, and, I'm just kidding. Please don't answer that.) However I will say that the time we spent together on that evening was what could be the start of something that's, truly, long overdue. As I stated before, it's obvious that we've always been into each other. We just never really had a chance until now, and we're already planning our next, date?

I'm not sure how many people reading this are spiritual, but I am. And I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that some people come into your life for a short time because they need something from you, or you from them- usually it is some kind of lesson that needs to be learned. You will continue to encounter the same people and/or situations until you learn that specific lesson, and then you can advance, evolve, ascend (again, whatever you refer to it as). I also believe some people are meant to be in your life forever, your soul tribe. Lastly, I believe that you attract what you put out, and this is where what I'm saying here becomes relevant.

I believe my ex was a part of my life because I needed to learn the lesson of loving and choosing myself. I needed to learn what I am, and am not, willing to accept when it comes to love. What I deserve. The list goes on. I continued to encounter this person for almost a decade because that's how long it took me to truly learn all of these lessons. And certainly there were lessons he needed to learn too. Upon learning these lessons, I was able to advance. In doing that, in choosing myself and my happiness, and choosing to show myself the love I had begged so long for- that's exactly what I ended up attracting. I was putting out that kind of vibration, and so that's the kind of vibration I got- and boy was it an immediate response. 

I don't know what my future holds, and I especially don't know what the future holds concerning my somewhat newfound romance. But what I do know is that everything happens for a reason. And also that I waited 6 months for somebody to do something that somebody else did in a single night. That, to me, speaks volumes.

As always, if you made it this far, thank you for reading. Until next time! (And I promise, not all of my blogs are going to be about relationships and romance- this is just what is currently happening for me.)