im drunk

and i miss you.

everyday, every time i smoke, every time i see a cat i fucking remember you.
miss your dainty hands, your deep but somehow fem laugh and voice rings in my head.

somehow, someway i find myself retarcing my footsteps and come back to that place where i decided to cut ties and break up with you.

it's selfish i know. it's evil well, don't you think i don't know?

i want you. i want you. all of you. flaws, imperfections and the humane things that you do.

I NEED IT, I YEARN FOR IT, I LONG FOR YOU TO HUG MY DEPRAVED SMALL, THIN BODY SCREAMS!
ACHES FOR YOU TO HOLD MY SICKLY BODY.

THIS BODY THAT CARVES MY VERY STRUCTURE THAT WE CALL THE BONES, MY BODY THAT SHOWS UNHEALED SCARS AND THE BODY THAT YOU ONCE HELD AND KISSED AND TENDED.

my heart just wails at the thought of you with someone else.

in that tricycle? that hideous, ugly, rotten girl that i know deep inside harbors deep----

unfinished bcs i dont like where this is going.