little overshare

Ok, so this is me talking about the last boyfriend I had before I found out I was a girl-kisser.

(TW: talks about sh, animal abuse, death, and other stuff so if you're sensitive to that DON'T READ THIS!)

 We were friends for a little while till I asked him out (I'll call him birdy ). It was good at first we'd text all the time (I move a lot so never was in person after meeting). UNTIL! One day birdy was talking about his stepmom, saying how he didn't like her yada yada. I tried comforting him but you can't really comfort someone over the phone can you?. Birdy stopped answering for a few hours so I got worried. He came back saying "I just relapsed" I said, "Do you wanna talk about it?" "nah". I found out he has a Discord server where he'd post gore, sh pics, and a bunch of other gross shit. But, didn't say anything about it (I was an idiot back then so don't judge me). Sometimes, he'd offer to send a pic of his scars to me and I'm very sensitive to seeing ACTUAL gore AS MOST PEOPLE SHOULD BE? (also past trauma) and he knew this. As time passed he got more and more unhinged. I'm not saying people shouldn't talk about their problems by any means but the way he talked about it was like he was proud of it? Birdy was really into guns but not the average "I think they're cool" kinda guy. No, he was the "I wanna shoot people:3" kinda guy emoji and all. I thought he was joking but he'd send me dead pictures of animals (deer, bird, etc) that he shot. I know hunting is normal but like I said he was REALLY into it (he even said he jerked off to the dead bird).  It was just overall bad bad not good (tyler the creator reference) But, I just couldn't break up with him I felt like if I did he'd oof himself cause he said he would multiple times. So I just stayed. He did break up with me eventually and I'm better now but wow do I pick weird people to be friends with irl. I think I have a aura that attracts people who are like this cause this isn't the first time. ANYWAYS, this got kinda dark huh? I don't know if I should post this but I'm gonna do it anyway.