My mind (song of the day, day 29)

YAY im so happy spacehey is back online I was going through withdrawls 😔

I am taking a Pychology class rn and it has been making me think about stuff from the past. I quite enjoy the class and the mind is just so imtresting. I started to look into myself and my past relationship I had to see why I acted the way I did. One of my main issues what jealousy and after some thinking I think I understand why I always felt so jealouse in our relationship. I think it was because of my friends from when I was a kid and how our relationship was prior. When I was in elemetery school every year I had a new friend group and didn't have any real stable friends till middle school. Along with that in our relationship over the summer one year after school was over she would spend a lot of time with one of our friends rather then me. I think both of these things caused my jealousy. i think seeing someone that was finialy a stable friend in my life hang out with me scared me that what happened in elementary school would happen again and caused me to get jealous. I have learned from this though so I think majority of my jealousy is gone. I do have small moments but its getting a lot better and I feel a lot better too. I feel really bad ab making her feel bad when I got jealous but I think the best I can do is learn from my mistakes and try to treat my next partner a bit better.

When I was thinking about my past relationship I realize that I really don't hate my ex even though I feel like I should. I mean she did do some rude things after we broke up. All I wanted her to do was to apologize for how she treated me and realize that we both did things wrong in our relationship and she did. Because of that I really don't hate her no more. I mean she does so some things now that I'm not a big fan of but I feel like its not worth hating her insanely over. I would be fine with friending her again (it might be a bit weird tho) but there would be a few things I would have to ask of her first tho (just so things dont go to shit again...)

Anyway thats my little rant for the day it has been on my mind for the past few days and I'm so happy spacehey is back so I can write ab this o((>ω< ))o

Song of the day

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When girls telephone boys -Deftones